How Did You Know?

When I think about this…how did you know?

Growing up it seemed like it took all day to travel to your house just to visit. As I got a little older I realized you really only lived 30 minutes away!

How did you know?

Growing up I was so excited knowing you were coming for Christmas. Unfortunately, you weren’t always able to make it because you traveled a lot.

How did you know?

In high school , I really only saw you at a few times a year because of my busy schedule and you were working. And when you weren’t working, you and Grandma Ila were in your RV seeing the country. I loved that about the two of you, nothing stopped you from jumping in that mobile home and taking off for months at a time. (Guess it helped you owned your own business too 🙂 ).

But, how did you know?

When I was home from college, mom told me you had cancer and it had metastasized.  The prognosis wasn’t good. They didn’t know how long you had. Every weekend from that point on I was at your house, sitting and visiting with you. It wasn’t long before walking was difficult for you. That weekend when I stopped for a visit, you were on the couch and I sat on the floor next to you. You held my hand and said, “I love you, and I will hold a special spot for you in heaven.” I tried so hard to hold the tears back, but they streamed down my face. I tried to make a joke saying I always knew I was your favorite. Which we both smiled and giggled. Two weeks later you passed away. Your words resonate within me, even today.

But, how did you know?

I never told anyone what you said to me that day. Those words were something I held so close to my heart. I didn’t tell anyone until 7 yrs. later…That special spot in heaven you were holding for me, was actually for my Joey….I’m eternally grateful Grandpa and I can rest a little easier knowing my son is with you. But I still ask…

How did you know?

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24 Responses to How Did You Know?

  1. erinjohnson7 says:

    You moved me to tears Tammy…very powerful writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lchavosky says:

    I loved your repeating “How did you know” line. Really made it resonate as important words.
    Goodbyes are so painful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dana Murphy says:

    Tammy, this is amazing. I, too, am in tears. I couldn’t figure out what you meant by “how did you know” and when I finally figured it out, I had both goosebumps and tears. Beautiful, beautiful Slice.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tzawacki15 says:

      Thanks Dana…It took this challenge for me to finally put those thoughts in writing that I have held onto for all these years. So thank you 😉


      • Dana Murphy says:

        I’m so glad you did. I hope you’ll write more about it, if that feels right to you. Truly beautiful. I’ve thought of this Slice so many times since I read it.


  4. ccahill2013 says:

    The haunting line; “how did you know” is so powerful. A piece about two people who will always be in your heart. That is what writing is all about.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. PatPat says:

    You have written a powerful post!


  6. peteacher1 says:

    Wow! What power and emotions this piece holds, Tammy! It feels so good to put such strong emotions into words. What a story! It’s amazing the 6th sense some people have and apparently Grandpa is one of them. I like your repitiion. It represents the thought that you will always wonder, but may never know. Thanks
    For sharing such a personal and private story with us!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What beauty you have brought to what must have been two very painful times in your life.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. shelsdon says:

    Wow Tammy, I read this a whole bunch of times. So haunting, so resonating, so strong and emotional. What a wonderful slice!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. kmurphy1027 says:

    I am so glad that you shared this! This is such a great slice and I was as unsure as Dana was throughout the piece, but now I have tears! Thanks again for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Crystal Brooks says:

    Oh that brought me to tears, I love this slice.The repeat of the line “How did you know?” The description of you on the floor and her on the couch! Heartbreaking and Powerful

    Liked by 1 person

  11. tzawacki15 says:

    Thank you all for your kind words. It took this month long challenge for me to finally put the words I’ve felt for 17 yrs now in writing. Thank you all!!


  12. Carol says:

    What a beautiful, beautiful piece of writing! I love the vision of your grandfather waiting there with his arms out to hold your son!

    Liked by 1 person

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