My Angel

Life will never be the same. This was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. But how could it be? How could I carry this precious, miraculous cargo with me for so long, and now it’s just gone? Why is this happening to us? Have I done something wrong?

These are just some of the endless questions I’ve been asking. How do I find the answers? Will I ever know the answers?

God works in mysterious ways. The day we ended up finding out our lives were being turned upside down is a day that will never ever be forgotten.This was supposed to be the most exciting time. But all of a sudden nothing made sense anymore. It was as though I couldn’t breathe. I knew you had already passed away, but when you were born, even though nothing was like it was supposed to be at that time, I somehow was still able to feel some happiness. It may not have shown on my face, but in my heart I was happy for a few moments (maybe it was longer), time was frozen for a bit. I was a mom! I held you in my arms and never let you go for 24 hours. But then it was time to say goodbye…this is when reality punched me in the stomach. Again I couldn’t breathe. What was I going to do? How was I going to go on? How would Joe and survive this?

You made me a stronger person. Is it easy?  Hell No! But you taught me to fight through the pain. You ended up being the reason I would wake up each morning and face each day. I know I have you with me all the time. I know I’m never alone. God really does work in mysterious ways.

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4 Responses to My Angel

  1. oh gosh, I know there is some heart wrenching story here and I’ve been with people with similar sounding heart ache so the pit in my stomach is huge for you and I’m glad you are able to take whatever solace you can.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kim K says:

    endless questions, miraculous cargo… you write about a heartbreak I can’t even fathom and offer us insight to it. That is a tremendously brave thing to do as a writer.

    Liked by 1 person

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