My Angel

Life will never be the same. This was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. But how could it be? How could I carry this precious, miraculous cargo with me for so long, and now it’s just gone? Why is this happening to us? Have I done something wrong?

These are just some of the endless questions I’ve been asking. How do I find the answers? Will I ever know the answers?

God works in mysterious ways. The day we ended up finding out our lives were being turned upside down is a day that will never ever be forgotten.This was supposed to be the most exciting time. But all of a sudden nothing made sense anymore. It was as though I couldn’t breathe. I knew you had already passed away, but when you were born, even though nothing was like it was supposed to be at that time, I somehow was still able to feel some happiness. It may not have shown on my face, but in my heart I was happy for a few moments (maybe it was longer), time was frozen for a bit. I was a mom! I held you in my arms and never let you go for 24 hours. But then it was time to say goodbye…this is when reality punched me in the stomach. Again I couldn’t breathe. What was I going to do? How was I going to go on? How would Joe and survive this?

You made me a stronger person. Is it easy?  Hell No! But you taught me to fight through the pain. You ended up being the reason I would wake up each morning and face each day. I know I have you with me all the time. I know I’m never alone. God really does work in mysterious ways.